YOU’VE LOST THAT LOVING FEELING? How to Make a Love U-Turn…

(Note: The post below is from the book STOP *EFFING YOURSELF, by Dr. Sean Kenniff)

YOU’VE LOST THAT LOVING FEELING?

How to Make a Love U-Turn…

By Sean Kenniff

You have fallen out of love–you are sure of it. You might still love your partner, but you are no longer “in love” with him or her. Looking back, you recall a time when your partner sent your heart and mind racing with excitement. Every moment seemed magical. But now those times have vanished, and it seems like all that passion was just smoke and mirrors, a cruel trick. You still obsess about your partner but now only in a very negative way. You ask yourself over and over, How could this have happened? How did hot and heavy become cold and lonely? Why am I staying in the relationship? Who am I fooling? Am I condemned to a passionless and pointless future?

Signs you may be falling out of love with your partner.

• 1. You are physically repulsed by your partner.
• 2. You cringe before kissing.
• 3. You constantly point out your partner’s faults.
• 4. You feel like a fraud.
• 5. You married for money, sex or security.
• 6. Your basic emotional needs are not being met.
• 7. You don’t respect your partner.
• 8. You no longer care if your partner has sex with someone else.
• 9. You avoid talking about the future.
• 10. You are never happy at home.

Unfortunately, it is easy to fall in love but hard to stay in love. As your relationship changes with time, you must change along with it–and change requires work. If you have not been adjusting and growing within your relationship, now is the time to start. Falling out of love is usually a painfully slow process. So time is on your side.

Here are some tips on how you can make a love U-turn.

Create a Love Concept.

Define what you mean by love. For most people, love is an abstract concept, and writing some thoughts on paper will help you see what you have in your relationship and what you are lacking. Write down an explicit definition of love, the actions that you consider demonstrate love, and all of your other love expectations.

Take a Reality Check.

Compare your love concept to what you read in books, watch on television, and see in the movies. If your love concept is strikingly similar to the dramatic love concept, you have been terribly misled. If books and the mainstream media accurately portrayed the amount of tedium in real-life romances, you wouldn’t read or watch. Make sure you are not holding your relationship up to a ridiculous Hollywood standard.

Identify Changes.

Think back to a happier time in your relationship, and write down ways both you and your partner have changed. Were you more attentive, seductive, and forgiving? Identify ways in which the relationship has fundamentally changed. Are there other obligations interfering with your ability to love each other? Have children entered the picture? Has one partner lost a job or received a promotion? Examine how all of these changes are related and try to figure out some simple solutions.

Time to Talk.

After creating a realistic love concept and identifying changes in your relationship, it is time to have a thoughtful and candid conversation with your partner. Your partner may have similar concerns. And when two people drift away from each other, they drift away at twice the speed. Assure your partner that you are committed to improving your love relationship and keep the conversation solution-oriented.

Act Lovingly.

Love is a feeling, but it is also an action. It is a noun and a verb–and verbs usually imply action. You cannot be passive about love. It will not magically reappear in your relationship. You must give love to get it. Make specific and unambiguous efforts to demonstrate your love for partner at least once a day. Like a bank account, you have to deposit love before you can withdraw it. You must start giving the love you want in return.

Starve Your Resentment.

Don’t focus on feelings of resentment and hostility. When people fall in love, they often develop a positive obsession for their partners, and it creates constant excitement. When falling out of love, the obsession turns negative and becomes constant resentment. You must do your best to block these negative thoughts.

Feed The Positivity.

Do your best to acknowledge the positive qualities of your partner. Identify what is right about your partner and your relationship, and then tell your friends and family about them. You might be surprised at the reaction. They might just tell you how lucky you are. Getting this kind of positive feedback will strengthen your relationship.

Let it Go.

Don’t hold onto past resentments.

Seduce Each Other.

To add some passion into your lives, make sure you are seducing each other on a regular basis. Look your best. Express desire–or fake it. If your sex life has turned boring, be open to spicing it up a bit. Have fun, make love, and hang out like you used to.

What is Missing in Passion, Make Up For With Intimacy.

While you may never recapture the passion you had with your partner in the first years of dating, you should make efforts to become increasingly intimate. Like passionate love, being understood and cherished is also a fundamental human desire. Feed your partner’s desire for intimacy–it is the glue of all long-term love relationships. Concentrate on safeguarding your partner and attending to their emotional needs.

Dr. Sean Kenniff is the author of STOP *EFFING YOURSELF and ETRE THE COW. Click on the book cover above to purchase.

UNHEALTHY HOLLYWOOD! Healthapalooza’s Annual Report

Healthapalooza’s Annual Report

UNHEALTHY HOLLYWOOD

by Sean Kenniff, MD

Hollywood has always been a good place for bad behavior. But 2009 was especially tragic for Tinseltown, as a lot of Hollywood’s best had their worst and last moments. In June, David Carradine died under bizarre sexual circumstances in a Bangkok Hotel. Soon thereafter the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, went into cardiac arrest after receiving a deadly cocktail of potent prescription drugs. Adam Michael Goldstein, better known as DJ AM, suffered a fatal drug overdose in August. And most recently 32 year-old actress Brittany Murphy died under questionable circumstances. Forget falling stars, 2009 was a meteor shower.

All year the staff at Healthapalooza.com follows celebrity news, gossip, and tabloid rumors to bring you our annual report “Unhealthy Hollywood.” The winner of each category is dishonored with a “Healthapaloozer” award—perhaps the only award in Hollywood nobody wants to win.

In the category for SCARIEST SKINNY the nominees are…

1.    Lindsay Lohan

2.    Mishka Barton

3.    Keira Knightly

The Healthapaloozer goes to Mishka Barton! According to the British tabloid The Daily Mail, the 5’9” Barton was a curvy size 12 last year. Now she appears sickly and skeletal. Barton denies having an eating disorder, and credits her dramatic weight loss to a new obsession with pilates.

Important Fact: The eating disorders, anorexia nervosa and bulimia, are the deadliest forms of mental illness. In women, anorexia raises the risk of death 12 times.

In the category for FRIGHTENINGLY FAT the nominees are…

1.    Kirstie Alley

2.    John Goodman

3.    Aretha Franklin

The Healthapaloozer goes to Aretha Franklin! Lately the “Queen of Soul” has been looking more like the “Dairy Queen of Soul.”

Important Fact: Being overweight or obese raises the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, diabetes, and many forms of cancer. There are more than 4 million Americans weighing over 300 pounds.  

In the category for MOST TOXIC BODY the nominees are…

1.    Amy Winehouse

2.    Artie Lange

3.    Courtney Love

The Healthapaloozer goes to Amy Winehouse! The singer claims she has been drug free since January 2009, but her erratic behavior is raising a lot of doubts. Winehouse was arrested two times in 2009 for alleged assaults, and in late December she collapsed and was treated at a hospital for “nervous exhaustion.” Amy, it looks like it might be time to say “Yes, Yes, Yes,” to rehab.

Important Fact: The most common addictions in the U.S. are to legal substances, namely alcohol and tobacco. In terms of dollar amounts, more cocaine is sold each year in the U.S. than Starbuck’s coffee.

In the category for MOST LIKELY TO CONTRACT AN STD the nominees are…

1.    George Michael

2.    Tiger Woods

3.    Warren Beatty

The Healthapaloozer goes to George Michael! Tiger Woods had at least 11 mistresses, and Warren Beatty is rumored to have slept with nearly 13-thousand women over his acting career, but singer George Michael appears to be the riskiest sex seeker. In 1998 the Grammy winning superstar was nabbed by police engaging in a “lewd act” in a public toilet, and he recently admitted to The Guardian that he smokes seven joints a day and engages in casual sex about twice a week with men other than his boyfriend.

Important Fact: Drug use increases the risk of contracting an STD. So does having sex under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or having sex with someone who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. The more sexual partners you have, the higher your risk of an STD.

In the category for MOST FROZEN FACE the nominees are…

1.    Joan Rivers

2.    Kenny Rogers

3.    Kathy Griffen

The Healthapaloozer goes to Joan Rivers! Joan Rivers clearly suffers from the “Frozen Face Syndrome.” With her facial muscles paralyzed by Botox, and skin stretched paper thin, the funny lady can hardly crack a smile.

Important Fact: Nearly 12 million cosmetic surgeries were performed in the U.S. in 2007. Two thirds of cosmetic surgery patients are repeat patients.

In the category for MOST DANGEROUS DIET the nominees are…

1.    Rihanna

2.    Britney Spears

3.    Miley Cyrus

The Healthapaloozer goes to Miley Cyrus! Sultry songstress Rihanna supposedly orders pizza, lasagna, and french fries before her concerts. Britney Spears reportedly kicked her junk food habit to slim down for her Circus tour. But Miley Cyrus is allegedly addicted to junk food. While staying at a hotel in December 2009 Life and Style reported Cyrus ordered seven burgers and cheese fries, and she washed it all down with an Oreo milkshake.

Important Fact: A study conducted in 2000 found junk food raises the risk of heart disease in TEENS!

In the category for UNHEALTHIEST MOVIE the nominees are…

1.    Taking Woodstock

2.    Paul Blart: Mall Cop

3.    The Hangover

And the Healthapaloozer goes to The Hangover! No doubt The Hangover was a comedy hit, but the bachelor party booze bonanza flick features almost every kind of unhealthy behavior—drugs, anonymous sex, over drinking, grand theft, taser demonstrations, and being punched by Mike Tyson.

Important Fact: Recently studies have found hangovers impair judgment and memory, and they are a leading cause of work absences and lost productivity. Another recent study found driving with a hangover is 4-times more dangerous than driving sober.

In the category for UNHEALTHIEST TELEVISION PROGRAM the nominees are…

1.    Rock of Love with Brett Michaels

2.    The Simpsons

3.    More to Love

And the Healthapaloozer goes to Rock of Love! Homer Simpson is a drunk-driving donut-eating dimwit who chokes his son, Bart, in fits of rage, but even he could not beat the unhealthy behaviors featured on VH1’s Rock of Love with Bret Michaels.  On the show chain-smoking boozed-up bimbos compete for the affection of Bret Michaels, the former frontman of the rock group Poison. 

Last but not least, the EVEL KNIEVEL LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD FOR DEATH DEFYING LIVING goes to…Artie Lange! Howard Stern’s hysterical sidekick, and author of the book, Too Fat to Fish, is dangerously fat, and has a long history of drug and alcohol abuse. He was recently hospitalized for undisclosed reasons. Get well, Artie, and stay well.

Carnal Knowledge: Things About Sex You Probably Don’t Know

Carnal Knowledge: Ten Things You Probably Don’t Know About Sex

By Sean Kenniff, MD

Despite the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s and recent scientific advancements, there is still a lot of mystery surrounding everyone’s favorite physical activity. And if you think you know everything about sex, think again. Take a look at these ten sex headlines you might have missed. 

SEX AND THE CITY

People living in New York City have twice the number of sex partners as the average American. NY’s Daily News took a look at the sex lives of the Sex and the City Characters to see how they compared to the real thing. In the 94 episodes of six seasons the four main characters managed to bed 94 men and one woman.  Samantha was the most prolific lover, shagging 41 men and 1 woman. Carrie hooked up with 18 men and so did Charlotte. Miranda bedded 17 men. When these fictitious sexual patterns were compared to similar groups of real NY City women, those numbers were right on target.

DIRTY WORDS

The word pornography is a combination of the Greek word for prostitute, or “porno”, and the word “graphia” which means writing. So literally pornography originated as writings about prostitutes.

BREAST IMPLANTS ARE LINKED TO SUICIDE

Several studies have documented an increased risk of suicide in women who have breast implants. A Swedish study published in 2007 found women with breast implants were nearly three times more likely to commit suicide compared to women without the implants. According to the study the increased suicide risk did not appear until 10-years after the breast augmentation surgery. But twenty years after the surgery the researchers found the rate of suicide in women with implants was six times the expected rate. Some studies have found women with breast implants also have triple the risk of dying from drugs or alcohol.

SIZE MATTERS

The largest medically verified human penis measured almost 14 inches. The shortest ever recorded was 0.39 inches long, or just about one centimeter. Today normal size is said to be between five and seven inches. Rorqual whales have the largest penises of any animal; 10-feet long, and 1-foot in diameter. But compared to body size the unassuming barnacle has the largest endowment, with a penis up to 42-times its own body length (below).

MINUTE MEN…AND WOMEN

A 2008 survey of U.S. and Canadian sex therapists say “satisfying sex” lasts anywhere from three-to-thirteen minutes. 7-to-13 minutes was declared “desirable”, whereas 1-2 minutes was deemed “too short”, and more than 14 minutes was deemed “too long”.

VIRGINITY GENES?

Genes may play an important role in determining the age at which a person first engages in sexual intercourse according to a 2009 study. Researchers from California State University in Fullerton studied 48 pairs of twins who were raised apart and found the age of virginity loss was roughly 33% due to genetic influences. Previous studies have found a gene, called DRD4, is associated with impulsiveness, increased risk-taking behavior and a lower age at first intercourse. June is often cited as the most common month for loss of virginity (all those proms and weddings).

RED WINE MAY BOOST A WOMAN’S LIBIDO

Doctors from the University of Florence in Italy say a glass or two of red wine may boost a woman’s level of sexual interest. They studied more than 800 normal women and found women who enjoyed drinking 1-2 glasses of red wine had higher levels of sexual desire compared to women who drank other forms of alcohol or those who abstained. It is possible compounds in red wine increase blood flow to key areas.

HANGING CHADS

In most men the left testicle hangs lower than the right testicle, and although the reason is not entirely clear it makes a lot of practical sense. The oval shape of the testes and their different heights may prevent them from banging into each other when men walk. Both testicles rise with physical exertion or sexual intercourse for the same reason. The cremaster muscle is responsible for this reflex. Plus being further apart may keep the testicles cooler which is important for sperm production.

300 ORGASMS A DAY!

Women suffering from a rare condition called Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome, or PSAS, can have 300 orgasms each day or more. The orgasms in women with PSAS are usually unrelated to sexual activity or sexual thoughts, and they often occur at inappropriate and embarrassing times. In fact the orgasms come so frequently they cease to be pleasurable. Brain abnormalities have been found in some cases, but the cause of most cases remains a mystery.

FERTILE STRIPPERS MAKE MORE MONEY

New Mexican psychologist Geoffrey Miller studied female strippers and found they earn more tips in the week before their period than any other time during the menstrual cycle. This is the time of peak fertility, and Miller theorizes pheromones are signaling the men and causing them to tip larger amounts. In fact during peak fertility exotic dancers made twice as much money as they did when they were menstruating. The same study also found women on ‘the pill’ did not experience the monetary increase during this most fertile time.  

Birth Control Basics

  Roughly six out of every ten pregnancies in the United States are unplanned, according to the Institute of Medicine. Many experts think this high rate of unintended pregnancies results from a lack of knowledge about contraception. But it’s important to remember that no form of birth control is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy. Here are the stats on effectiveness.

  Tubal ligation and vasectomy procedures are probably the most effective means of contraception, preventing pregnancy more than 99.5 percent of the time. Intrauterine devices, or IUDs, fail to prevent pregnancy in roughly 1 to 2 percent of women who use them for a year. For women injection of birth control hormones or implantation of hormones has just about the same effectiveness, but these hormones carry an increased risk of developing dangerous blood clots. So do oral contraceptives, and the pills are a bit less effective at preventing pregnancy. About 5 percent of women taking oral contraceptive for one year will conceive inadvertently. Typical condom use has an unintended pregnancy rate of about 14 percent per year, and the conception rate for women using the vaginal sponge and diaphragm is about 20 percent.

  The emergency birth control method ‘Plan-B’, which is often called the morning after pill, prevents pregnancy in roughly 75 percent of cases if taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex, but it is most effective if started within 24 hours. -Sean Kenniff, MD

What is Your Love Personality?

What is Your Love Personality?

by Sean Kenniff, MD 

   Finding your perfect mate may come down to ‘chemistry’ after all-the chemistry inside your brain according to a new relationship theory. Dr. Helen Fisher, a Rutgers University anthropologist, has studied brain responses to relationships for decades, and she says there are four distinct personality types based on your brain chemistry.

The Builder: Builders are fueled by the feel-good brain chemical serotonin. Serotonin is the same neurotransmitter that is believed to be critical in alleviating depression. Builders are calm, orderly and managerial in their approach to love. Although they can be pleasingly social, sometimes they are criticized for being humdrum homebodies. Builders are reliable, stable and consistent, but they can be a bit predictable and lack some spontaneity.

The Explorer: Explorers are governed by the novelty-seeking brain chemical dopamine. Imbalances of dopamine have been connected to heightened impulsivity, risk-taking behaviors, drug addiction, delusions, and even schizophrenia. Driven by dopamine explorers constantly seek excitement in relationships. Sometimes they move from relationship to relationship once the monotony sets in. Explorers are highly spontaneous and often fun lovers, but they become bored easily and are often criticized for being flighty.

The Director: The male sex hormone testosterone is thought to predominate in the brains of directors, but both men and women can fall into this personality type. In studies testosterone has been associated with aggression and competitiveness. In relationships the testosterone-driven directors are focused, rational, daring and direct. They are logical lovers, but at times they can be coldly analytical, bossy and controlling.

The Negotiator: Negotiators are governed by the female hormone estrogen, but both men and women can fall into this category. Estrogen has been associated with mothering behaviors, emotional connectivity, and selfless reasonability. Negotiators are socially skilled, idealistic peacemakers and they often find themselves at the gravitational center of relationships. They are empathetic lovers, and willing to compromise on almost every issue. 

So what types make the best matches? 

Explorers: Explorers often want to date themselves and they should. The other personality types are often frustrated by the explorer’s flights of fancy, irrationality, and unwillingness to commit to long-term relationships. So explorers should seek other explorers to keep fueling the excitement. Explorers can sometimes ground themselves by dating builders, but they run into trouble by dating directors. The no-nonsense approach of the director leaves explorers feeling confined or trapped. 

Builders: Builders value loyalty, consistency, and thrive on routine. Dating another builder is the most common and it may be the most successful relationship strategy. Two builders together often form a stable family unit, guided by shared goals and teamwork. Builders can sometimes ground an explorer, but the builder’s love of routine can often clash with the explorer’s love of novelty.   

Negotiators and Directors: Directors often need a negotiator to temper their frank, methodical approach to romance, and negotiators often benefit from the stronger backbone of directors. However negotiators, given their pleasing nature, can suit just about other personality type. Directors, on the other hand, find it very difficult to date anyone without good negotiating and peacemaking skills.

What is Worse? This or That?

What’s Worse, This or That?

by Sean Kenniff, MD 

What is worse: being obese or suffering from anorexia nervosa? 

Statistics show anorexia nervosa has the highest fatality rate of any psychological disorder. Up to twenty-percent of those affected will die from the condition if left untreated, and roughly three-percent die even with therapy. Obesity also kills, but much more slowly. The mortality rate for people suffering from anorexia nervosa is higher, and they tend to die at much younger ages when compared to an obese people of the same age. For an obese twenty-five-year old woman the risk of dying is around 0.1%.

What is worse for parents with children: Having a gun in the house, or a swimming pool in the backyard?

In the book Freakonomics by economist Steven Leavitt, statistical analysis reveals that having a swimming pool is roughly 100-times more risky than having a gun in the house. According to Leavitt there are 6-million residential swimming pools in the U.S., and more than 500 children drown in them each year-so roughly one child drowns for every 11,000 swimming pools. Meanwhile there are more than 200-million guns in the U.S., but fewer than 200 deaths in children under the age of ten are due to firearms. Simple math tells you that the risk of having a gun in the home is just 1-child death for every 1-million guns.

What is worse: smoking marijuana cigarettes, or smoking tobacco cigarettes?

This question appeared in an editorial in the British Medical Journal in 2003. From a legal point of view marijuana is certainly worse. But when it comes to your health tobacco cigarettes are a much bigger risk. Two large studies failed to find an increased risk of death associated with cannabis use. While there are plenty of carcinogens in marijuana smoke, people do not tend to chain-smoke the drug-so the overall exposure to those carcinogens is much less. And most marijuana smokers cease smoking the drug in early adulthood. Cigarettes pose a much larger personal and public health risk. However this conclusion comes with a caveat: perhaps the main reason people stop smoking marijuana after a certain age is because of its illegality. As we age we are less likely to commit these kinds of criminal activities. Decriminalization of marijuana may lead to more prolonged smoking and perhaps more deaths. But overall cigarettes are much worse. In the United States tobacco use contributes to roughly 1-in-5 deaths.

What is worse: being married and miserable, or happy and single? 

Research shows happily married couples live longer than singles, and the health benefit of being in a happy marriage is more profound for men than it is for women. People in positive marital relationships have lower blood pressures and reduced levels of stress hormones when compared to unhappily married couples. And a recent study from BYU researchers found unhappily married people have a higher blood pressure, and higher stress hormones than happy singles and happily married folks. So being unhappily married appears to pose the biggest risk to your health. But before you think about heading to divorce court, several studies have shown divorce can increase the risk of death. So try to make your marriage a happy one. 

It’s also important to mention that overall never-married people face the highest risk of death (unhappy and happy singles combined). A study published in 2006 found never-married people faced 5-times the risk of dying from infectious diseases, were 38-percent more likely to die from heart disease, and faced twice the risk of dying from an accident, homicide, or suicide.

What is worse: air pollution or being exposed to second-hand smoke?

Air pollution from industrial pollutants and motor vehicles accounts for 3% of all U.S. deaths according to an article in the European Respiratory Journal. A study from University of Southern California in 2007 found children living near a major highway (within 500 meters) were more likely to have asthma, other respiratory diseases, and were more likely to have reduced lung function and reduced lung growth. Living close to a busy highway has also been associated with an increased risk of heart disease and some cancers. Air pollution alone causes between 22,000 and 55,000 deaths each year in the U.S. according to government statistics, but the National Resources Defenses Council says air pollution is responsible for 64,000 deaths each year. Particulate matter and benzene are thought to be playing the largest role in causing the health problems. 20-million Americans live under air pollution that contains more than 32 toxins at levels 100 times higher than the EPA deems acceptable. The World Health Organization says worldwide there are 2-million deaths due to air pollution each year. So how does second-hand smoke compare? The American Cancer Society estimates exposure to second-hand smoke causes roughly 3400 lung cancer deaths and between 22,000 and 69,000 deaths from cardiovascular disease each year in the U.S. There are approximately 21-million American children (35%) living in homes where they are exposed to second-hand smoke. So the numbers turn out to be roughly the same.

Prescription for More Sex, More Often

More Sex, More Often

by Sean Kenniff, MD

   For many couples sex that used to sizzle starts to fizzle. In the U.S. the average married couple has sex fifty-eight times a year-that’s just a little bit more than once a week-and many couples have much less than that. Good communication is essential for all healthy relationships, but seduction may be as important-and many long-term lovers have simply forgotten all about the art of seduction. 

These are the Seven Surefire Secrets to Seduction that promise to cure that bedroom boredom.

#1 Tell your lover a sexy bedtime story

Experts often say the brain is the most powerful sexual organ in the body and one good way to engage it is with fantasy. So conjure up a story and share it with your lover at bedtime. It can be about a princess, a pirate, or a real person. Tell your lover how you want to be pleased or how you intend to please them. Just don’t hold back! Getting graphic really gets the brain going. 

#2 Say it, before you do it

Like professional athletes who visualize victories, the brain must be primed before the body can perform. It could be a breathy phone call at work, a dirty note left inside a purse or a briefcase, or just a racy text message. For some people the anticipation of sex can be nearly as rewarding as the act itself. So build anticipation and let the momentum take care of the rest. 

#3 Bedtime is adult playtime

There are plenty of toys and adult themed games on the market, but sometimes it’s better to get creative with the games you might already have around the home-plus they’re a lot more discreet. So try playing a few hands of strip poker, give naked Twister a spin, or just tickle your funny-bone with a game of erotic Operation. Just roll the dice and use your imagination.

#4 Set the scene and look the part

If you want an Oscar-worthy performance set a scene that engages as many of the five senses as possible. So try some dim lighting, scented candles, delicious finger foods, wine, feathers, satin sheets, fluffy pillows, rose petals or romantic music. Use many of these sense stimulators in combination. And don’t forget to touch your lover often. Touch is perhaps the most primal of the five senses. Shower, shave, and dress the part.

#5 Just do it

Call it the ‘Nike Philosophy’: even if it seems monotonous experts say making love on a regular basis is critical to sustaining a healthy sexual relationship. Once couples stop having regular romps it is often difficult to get back to previous levels of activity. It’s like going to the gym: the hard part is getting there, but once you start sweating it is always well worth the trouble.

#6 Have a naughty night out

Forget date night! Instead try a naughty night out. Maybe take your partner to a striptease, an adult toy store, a theme room at a motel, or even the back seat of your car. Pretend to meet in a bar and pick each other up all over again. Basically if it feels like you are doing something wrong you probably have the right idea.

#7 Novelty

Break life’s monotony by adding everyday novelty. The brain responds to novel situations with increased awareness and heightened senses. Changing your routine by doing different things throughout the day also raises levels of feel good neurochemicals in both men and women.

It’s important to remember that a lack of sexual desire or inability to perform sexual activity can sometimes be a sign of a serious psychological or medical condition. So if you want to have more sex, more often, but are physically unable to do so, make sure you discuss the problems candidly with your doctor.

Pregnancy is Possible Any Time of the Month

   For many women, having sexual intercourse during menstrual bleeding carries a lower risk of conception than having sex during mid-cycle. But it is still quite possible to become pregnant during menstruation for several reasons.

   Most women ovulate during mid-cycle, around days 12-16 of a 28-day cycle. But some women, especially teenagers and young adults, have irregular ovulation. The egg for the following cycle can be released from the ovary during menstrual bleeding or a few days afterward. Since sperm can survive for five days or longer in the uterus that egg can be fertilized.

   Women with shorter menstrual cycles (21 days) and longer periods (7-days) may be most at risk for conceiving during her period. Women often mistake other causes of vaginal bleeding with menstrual bleeding and sexual activity results in pregnancy. In fact it’s normal for some women to ‘spot’ or bleed a little during ovulation-the most fertile time of the cycle.

   The best way to prevent pregnancy is of course through abstinence and the judicious use of contraceptive devices and drugs. Birth control pills are very effective, but condoms have an added benefit. Some studies have show the risk of transmitting and contracting a sexually transmitted disease is increased during menstrual bleeding. -Sean Kenniff, MD