Prescription for More Sex, More Often

More Sex, More Often

by Sean Kenniff, MD

   For many couples sex that used to sizzle starts to fizzle. In the U.S. the average married couple has sex fifty-eight times a year-that’s just a little bit more than once a week-and many couples have much less than that. Good communication is essential for all healthy relationships, but seduction may be as important-and many long-term lovers have simply forgotten all about the art of seduction. 

These are the Seven Surefire Secrets to Seduction that promise to cure that bedroom boredom.

#1 Tell your lover a sexy bedtime story

Experts often say the brain is the most powerful sexual organ in the body and one good way to engage it is with fantasy. So conjure up a story and share it with your lover at bedtime. It can be about a princess, a pirate, or a real person. Tell your lover how you want to be pleased or how you intend to please them. Just don’t hold back! Getting graphic really gets the brain going. 

#2 Say it, before you do it

Like professional athletes who visualize victories, the brain must be primed before the body can perform. It could be a breathy phone call at work, a dirty note left inside a purse or a briefcase, or just a racy text message. For some people the anticipation of sex can be nearly as rewarding as the act itself. So build anticipation and let the momentum take care of the rest. 

#3 Bedtime is adult playtime

There are plenty of toys and adult themed games on the market, but sometimes it’s better to get creative with the games you might already have around the home-plus they’re a lot more discreet. So try playing a few hands of strip poker, give naked Twister a spin, or just tickle your funny-bone with a game of erotic Operation. Just roll the dice and use your imagination.

#4 Set the scene and look the part

If you want an Oscar-worthy performance set a scene that engages as many of the five senses as possible. So try some dim lighting, scented candles, delicious finger foods, wine, feathers, satin sheets, fluffy pillows, rose petals or romantic music. Use many of these sense stimulators in combination. And don’t forget to touch your lover often. Touch is perhaps the most primal of the five senses. Shower, shave, and dress the part.

#5 Just do it

Call it the ‘Nike Philosophy’: even if it seems monotonous experts say making love on a regular basis is critical to sustaining a healthy sexual relationship. Once couples stop having regular romps it is often difficult to get back to previous levels of activity. It’s like going to the gym: the hard part is getting there, but once you start sweating it is always well worth the trouble.

#6 Have a naughty night out

Forget date night! Instead try a naughty night out. Maybe take your partner to a striptease, an adult toy store, a theme room at a motel, or even the back seat of your car. Pretend to meet in a bar and pick each other up all over again. Basically if it feels like you are doing something wrong you probably have the right idea.

#7 Novelty

Break life’s monotony by adding everyday novelty. The brain responds to novel situations with increased awareness and heightened senses. Changing your routine by doing different things throughout the day also raises levels of feel good neurochemicals in both men and women.

It’s important to remember that a lack of sexual desire or inability to perform sexual activity can sometimes be a sign of a serious psychological or medical condition. So if you want to have more sex, more often, but are physically unable to do so, make sure you discuss the problems candidly with your doctor.