UNHEALTHY HOLLYWOOD! Healthapalooza’s Annual Report

Healthapalooza’s Annual Report

UNHEALTHY HOLLYWOOD

by Sean Kenniff, MD

Hollywood has always been a good place for bad behavior. But 2009 was especially tragic for Tinseltown, as a lot of Hollywood’s best had their worst and last moments. In June, David Carradine died under bizarre sexual circumstances in a Bangkok Hotel. Soon thereafter the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, went into cardiac arrest after receiving a deadly cocktail of potent prescription drugs. Adam Michael Goldstein, better known as DJ AM, suffered a fatal drug overdose in August. And most recently 32 year-old actress Brittany Murphy died under questionable circumstances. Forget falling stars, 2009 was a meteor shower.

All year the staff at Healthapalooza.com follows celebrity news, gossip, and tabloid rumors to bring you our annual report “Unhealthy Hollywood.” The winner of each category is dishonored with a “Healthapaloozer” award—perhaps the only award in Hollywood nobody wants to win.

In the category for SCARIEST SKINNY the nominees are…

1.    Lindsay Lohan

2.    Mishka Barton

3.    Keira Knightly

The Healthapaloozer goes to Mishka Barton! According to the British tabloid The Daily Mail, the 5’9” Barton was a curvy size 12 last year. Now she appears sickly and skeletal. Barton denies having an eating disorder, and credits her dramatic weight loss to a new obsession with pilates.

Important Fact: The eating disorders, anorexia nervosa and bulimia, are the deadliest forms of mental illness. In women, anorexia raises the risk of death 12 times.

In the category for FRIGHTENINGLY FAT the nominees are…

1.    Kirstie Alley

2.    John Goodman

3.    Aretha Franklin

The Healthapaloozer goes to Aretha Franklin! Lately the “Queen of Soul” has been looking more like the “Dairy Queen of Soul.”

Important Fact: Being overweight or obese raises the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, diabetes, and many forms of cancer. There are more than 4 million Americans weighing over 300 pounds.  

In the category for MOST TOXIC BODY the nominees are…

1.    Amy Winehouse

2.    Artie Lange

3.    Courtney Love

The Healthapaloozer goes to Amy Winehouse! The singer claims she has been drug free since January 2009, but her erratic behavior is raising a lot of doubts. Winehouse was arrested two times in 2009 for alleged assaults, and in late December she collapsed and was treated at a hospital for “nervous exhaustion.” Amy, it looks like it might be time to say “Yes, Yes, Yes,” to rehab.

Important Fact: The most common addictions in the U.S. are to legal substances, namely alcohol and tobacco. In terms of dollar amounts, more cocaine is sold each year in the U.S. than Starbuck’s coffee.

In the category for MOST LIKELY TO CONTRACT AN STD the nominees are…

1.    George Michael

2.    Tiger Woods

3.    Warren Beatty

The Healthapaloozer goes to George Michael! Tiger Woods had at least 11 mistresses, and Warren Beatty is rumored to have slept with nearly 13-thousand women over his acting career, but singer George Michael appears to be the riskiest sex seeker. In 1998 the Grammy winning superstar was nabbed by police engaging in a “lewd act” in a public toilet, and he recently admitted to The Guardian that he smokes seven joints a day and engages in casual sex about twice a week with men other than his boyfriend.

Important Fact: Drug use increases the risk of contracting an STD. So does having sex under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or having sex with someone who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. The more sexual partners you have, the higher your risk of an STD.

In the category for MOST FROZEN FACE the nominees are…

1.    Joan Rivers

2.    Kenny Rogers

3.    Kathy Griffen

The Healthapaloozer goes to Joan Rivers! Joan Rivers clearly suffers from the “Frozen Face Syndrome.” With her facial muscles paralyzed by Botox, and skin stretched paper thin, the funny lady can hardly crack a smile.

Important Fact: Nearly 12 million cosmetic surgeries were performed in the U.S. in 2007. Two thirds of cosmetic surgery patients are repeat patients.

In the category for MOST DANGEROUS DIET the nominees are…

1.    Rihanna

2.    Britney Spears

3.    Miley Cyrus

The Healthapaloozer goes to Miley Cyrus! Sultry songstress Rihanna supposedly orders pizza, lasagna, and french fries before her concerts. Britney Spears reportedly kicked her junk food habit to slim down for her Circus tour. But Miley Cyrus is allegedly addicted to junk food. While staying at a hotel in December 2009 Life and Style reported Cyrus ordered seven burgers and cheese fries, and she washed it all down with an Oreo milkshake.

Important Fact: A study conducted in 2000 found junk food raises the risk of heart disease in TEENS!

In the category for UNHEALTHIEST MOVIE the nominees are…

1.    Taking Woodstock

2.    Paul Blart: Mall Cop

3.    The Hangover

And the Healthapaloozer goes to The Hangover! No doubt The Hangover was a comedy hit, but the bachelor party booze bonanza flick features almost every kind of unhealthy behavior—drugs, anonymous sex, over drinking, grand theft, taser demonstrations, and being punched by Mike Tyson.

Important Fact: Recently studies have found hangovers impair judgment and memory, and they are a leading cause of work absences and lost productivity. Another recent study found driving with a hangover is 4-times more dangerous than driving sober.

In the category for UNHEALTHIEST TELEVISION PROGRAM the nominees are…

1.    Rock of Love with Brett Michaels

2.    The Simpsons

3.    More to Love

And the Healthapaloozer goes to Rock of Love! Homer Simpson is a drunk-driving donut-eating dimwit who chokes his son, Bart, in fits of rage, but even he could not beat the unhealthy behaviors featured on VH1’s Rock of Love with Bret Michaels.  On the show chain-smoking boozed-up bimbos compete for the affection of Bret Michaels, the former frontman of the rock group Poison. 

Last but not least, the EVEL KNIEVEL LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD FOR DEATH DEFYING LIVING goes to…Artie Lange! Howard Stern’s hysterical sidekick, and author of the book, Too Fat to Fish, is dangerously fat, and has a long history of drug and alcohol abuse. He was recently hospitalized for undisclosed reasons. Get well, Artie, and stay well.

Positively Poppy? Can Poppy Seeds Sway a Drug Test…

   People who are required to undergo random on-the-job drug testing often avoid poppy seeds because they fear they could lead to a positive drug test result. Though most poppy seeds sold commercially in the United States pose no risk during a routine drug test, some poppy seeds can contain trace amounts of opiates. If ingested your urine could test positive for drugs like morphine, codeine and heroin.

   Several studies have shown opiate levels in the urine rise within two hours of poppy seed ingestion, and can remain elevated for a day or two afterwards. If eaten with geat regularity the presence of opiates can be a bit higher and a bit more persistent. But since the levels found in poppy seed ingestion are generally lower than those found in drug use, many governmental groups and private corporations have simply increased the opiate level that is needed to be declared positive. This has eliminated a lot of the false positives due to poppy seeds.  

   Additionally the compound thebaine is found in the urine of people who have consumed poppy seeds but is not found in those who have been using opiate drugs. And more sophisticated drug testing techniques can now detect specific opiate drug byproducts.-Sean Kenniff, MD