Having a Mid-Life Crisis in Your Thirties? It’s a ‘Thrisis’

  Men in a mid-life crisis are easy to spot. They’re Botox-blasting, cash-flashing, tanning, toning, wig-wearing late-forty-somethings driving sporty cars and cruising for sporty younger women. But today psychologists are seeing a new phenomenon; an early mid-life crisis that strikes both men and women equally, and in their thirties–It’s called a ‘thrisis’.

   Dr. Mitchell Spero, a licensed psychologist and director of Child and Family Psychologists, says people in the throes of a full-blown thrisis usually fall into two main camps.

“There are those who have had a prolonged adolescence by going to school and entering the workforce later in life,” Dr. Spero says, “and then there are those who had children earlier in life, maybe even too young, and now they are dealing with marital stress or divorce.”

   Spero says combine years spent in college, grad school, with the current economic downturn and adolescence has extended into the early twenties. That leaves many thirty-somethings struggling for independence while they’re still entangled in the parental safety net.

   “They want to be independent, but they are actually pseudo-independent. Their parents still must help them out in some way,” he says. For many that is a source of great internal frustration and it is easy to come unbalanced.

   “People in their thirties are often trying to balance child rearing, career advancement, all the financial pressures, leaving your parents, and in some cases losing a parent — at the same time,” Dr. Spero says.

   Unlike a mid-life crisis, where the angst is driven by the ghost of glory-days past, those in a thrisis worry about an uncertain future and unsatisfied expectations.      

   “Adjust expectations for yourself and for others, and don’t forget to adjust the time frame,” Dr. Spero says, “It’s OK to accomplish some of these things in your forties. Live in the present without blaming those of the past.” -Sean Kenniff, MD

-Dr. Sean Kenniff is a neurologist and health journalist in Miami.

-Dr. Mitchell Spero can be reached at Child + Family Psychologists at 954-587-7520, or 954-349-2777, or visit his website www.childandfamilypsychologists.org